Obsession: A Psychological Perspective

Obsession: A psychological Perspective

    

    Curry Barker's Obsession has achieved mainstream success in a way that nobody could have anticipated. It has become the highest grossing film (not adjusted for inflation) made for under $1 million of all time. Clearly it has struck a nerve in public consciousness. I have reflected on the impact the film has had on me, as well as reflected on other YouTube reviews that touch on interesting topics the films covers. I'm not interested in pointing out the technical merits of the film (which is flawless, I don't think anybody would believe the film was made for under $1 million with the entire cast and crew executing the film as flawless as they did), but I'm interested in the psychological aspects the film seems to have sparked in myself and others. 

    Bear: Part One

    I think it's best to break the review into two parts. The first being about Bear, the main character of the story, and how the story develops around his friend group and the wish. Bear is a shy and awkward you man (early to mid 20's in the film) who from the first shot it is established he has a crush on Nikki, a female in the friend group. He is mocked for his words by his friends, which makes him even more self-conscious. He stumbles over his words with Nikki, and when asked blatantly by her if he likes her, he fumbles and says he only likes her as a friend. His failure to understand his fears and not act according to them is half of his psychological failure. 

    The second half of it comes in the car ride home when Bear and Nikki are talking about her book she is writing and he asks if it's a romance, and she corrects him and states it's a love story. His response is "isn't that the same thing?' His failure to see the difference between the two is his psychological failure of the film in my opinion. Romance, psychologically speaking, is about finding the divine in another human being. It is us experiencing our sense of wholeness and that divine spark when we enter into a relationship with another. This usually plays out in romantic relationships, though it also plays out in other familiar relationships as well. The limitations of this is that it forces another human being to fulfill a divine responsibility that no human being is able to fulfill. If that other person isn't perfect (and nobody is) this breaks the illusion of the divine potential we have projected onto that person. It doesn't allow us to have a human relationship. 

    On the other hand, love is about caring about that other person's well-being. It seeks a more grounded type of relationship, where each person in the relationship is meeting their own and each other's needs. A healthy relationship should have both romance and love. This is what Bear demonstrates throughout the film that he has no concept of, because his own anxiety prevents him from reaching out to anyone else besides himself. What ultimately pushes him to make the wish is the fact that he has a desire to be with her, but doesn't want to work on being vulnerable enough to have a real relationship with her. It stays in the infatuation stage. The rest of the film is a consequence of this decision, as if it gives us a glimpse into what happens if we do not develop the ability to truly love the person we have developed feelings for. 

   Bear: Part Two

    What is fascinating about the script is that it honestly portrays what it feels like to have social anxiety with someone you have feelings for. It also does a good job with not making any one character a one-sided villain. Bear is a complex character, because we see his anxiety and can empathize with that, but ultimately throughout the rest of the film, we see that his inability to be able to form a genuine connection with anything apart from his immediate desires or needs turns him into someone who lacks empathy. 

    The part that drives this home the most is towards the end, when real Nikki is speaking while the wish Nikki has fallen asleep, and she asks him to kill her, his response is "is it so awful being with me?" This lack of empathy for her suffering is the result of living in your own anxiety and trying to fulfill your immediate desires without dealing with the real root of your anxiety. It is uncomfortable, but it's the only way we can have real relationships with other people. 

Nikki

    Nikki is the character at the center of Bear's obsession. When Bear gets what he asks for, he doesn't expect that it will end up as horrifying, because he doesn't have the insight enough to distinguish from romantic fixation and true love. This essentially turns Nikki into Bear's shadow, and shows him exactly what he wishes for, including the dark side. This is what Bear doesn't like, which is something that all of us at one point have done. We want whatever we wish for in the moment, but do not want to deal with the negative consequences, both short and long term of those actions if we follow through with the want. In real life this is unavoidable. 

    Nikki's transformation into less and less of a human, and more like a true shadow of a human shows the consequences of our inability to deal with our projections of our own wants and desires onto another person, and unwillingness of doing that uncomfortable work within ourselves. It is more tragic to see the suffering that she goes through in the film when we see the real Nikki pop up at random times. Ultimately, Bear does face the reality of his consequences and makes the right decision, but not until irreparable damage is done to his friends. It is a reminder that the longer we wait, the more we ourselves along with those around us suffer. 

Last Word

    I have seen online the debates and the attacks on Bear. Bear is clearly at fault for the movie, however the type of rhetoric seen that is attacking the character tells me about the inner world of the people doing the attacking. A word of caution about this is that this just continues the wheel of suffering, because it is an ego driven exercise to play the game of placing blame onto a person. It also continues the cycle of projecting negative traits onto other people. It's easy to do this. It's quite a bit harder (and much more uncomfortable) to find those same tendencies within ourselves and do the work to get out of our own ego driven desires. It isn't until we are able to place our own egos aside and do the deeper work of listening to our own soul that we will be able to experience some kind of fulfillment and peace in life. That to me is the ultimate lesson and warning of Obsession.